10 Months Later...AGAIN

At the request of a loyal reader, I am bringing the blog back to life. Thanks for the push! (you know who you are)

When I thought about it, I really have no excuse for not keeping it current. The last entry in my personal journal was in January. I haven't been writing online or on paper. Unacceptable. Time to get out of my head, and back into the real world of the internet. ;)

No need for a recap; if you know me, then you know the highlights. 

I will say this; I'm happy to be writing again. I'm happy to be happy. I'm happy that I'm regaining my physical, mental and emotional strength. Despite several challenges, life is good.

I am, once again, at a major transition in my life. Not really news. As they say - and I'm not really sure who "they" are, but I digress - the only constant in life is change. I've come to accept that. It's like the Borg; resistance is futile.

I'm still on the job hunt. I want to stay in the Raleigh-Durham area and I affirm that regularly. BUT if the right job is elsewhere, off I go. As I think about that, I have to ask myself "Is it really the right job, if it's somewhere else?" Hmmm...

What a difference 3 weeks makes...

I just read my entry from 3 weeks ago. I was all pumped up from the start of the new year, my treasure map and the hope of an marvelous 2009. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. Mostly vacillating between scared and excited with a bit of indifference in the middle.

Watching Ali Velshi declare today (officially yesterday) Bloody Monday didn't do much for my absolute resolve and unending determination to find a job (a good one). I may have to stop watching the news for a while. There's nothing new to see. Obama is in, Blagojevich talks too much, the Right disagrees with the Left and vice versa. It's like a soap opera. It won't take too long to catch up after not watching for a while.

I've got work to do. Deciding to stay or go, securing employment, filling out forms, etc., etc., etc. In the words of one of my favorite people I need to "keep the main thing the main thing, and keep the main thing first."

The big debate...

I'm thinking of moving...again. The never-ending cold days aren't helping any. I want to head south AND stay close to family. I want to stay in New York, yet I don't. I'm sooooo torn.

If I leave I'd need to
- to buy a car
- find a place to live (depending on my destination)

If I stay I'd need to
- get used to NYC commuting
- resign to being FAR from decent nature
- resign to NYC winter

Clearly, I don't have a compelling argument on either side. Still debating.

Still hunting

It's been about 7 months since I've had a job; a little over 1 year since I've worked full-time. To be fair, a part of that time was spent trying to get my business off the ground (which was like a full-time, unpaid internship). It didn't grow like I had hoped. So here I am, still looking for work and completely over the whole process. It's becoming more and more difficult to put on the façade of interest at an interview when all I want to say is "look, all I want is the job and a decent paycheck. Who cares where I see myself in 5 years? And why all the stupid 'Tell me a time when...' questions."
It's been particularly hard to keep hope alive; but I haven't given up yet. Not completely, anyway.

My resume

Earlier today I discovered Wordle.com. Below is an interpretation of my current resume (Click it for a better view.)

DIY Prayer Beads

I never buy newspapers. Never. But yesterday I did. Barack & Michelle were on the front page and I wanted to read the article about their 1st trip to the White House.
I will also add that I wasn't feeling too well yesterday. I had just come from a job fair and was less than enthusiastic about the results. I bought the newspaper on my way home.

So I'm laying in bed, reading my paper and I come across an ad from the Franciscan Friars about St. Jude and his "mission of supporting those who have lost hope" - like a certain someone who has been job hunting for over 6 months.

Am I Catholic? Nope. So this sparks a late-night online lesson on St. Jude, praying the Novena, Hail Mary, and chaplets/rosaries. During the search I flashbacked going to a Saturday mass at the church where JFK and Jackie O. were married when I was in Newport. There was a man sitting next to me who I kept watching as he moved his rosary through his hand. I was mesmerized.

The next morning (today), I'm determined to have myself a chaplet. After a futile search at a variety of stores for beads, I find out that I already have exactly what I need (a deep thought for another day). So I recycled a bracelet given to me by a woman I met "randomly" and a cross I got during my internship at SD Hospice and created the beautiful piece below.




I've been wanting a set of prayer beads since seeing some beautiful Buddhist meditation beads on a Zen website; and then again after watching the man with his rosary. I've used my DIY chaplet already and it's interesting how it slowed down my process, kept me focused and calmed me down; which I guess is the whole point.

Interview

I woke up this morning all ready to go to a job fair that I just learned about late last night. I was dressed and almost out the door. Then, in a moment of divine intervention, a man on the television said "today, Monday November 10, 2008". And at that moment I distinctly remember the posting reading November 11,2008. But unsure, I quickly walk to my laptop to confirm my fear... it's tomorrow. So I took off my suit and went back to sleep.

Just one of the many dangers of being online after midnight...

Back seat chilling

I'm sitting in the back seat of my brother's car headed back to New York. I spent the last 12 days in Newport, RI on a vacation I didn't know I needed. Now I'm headed back to reality...the reality of job hunting and more job hunting.

Options

Maybe I'll join the Army and become a linguist. The age limit to enlist is 42...
Or maybe not.