10 Months Later...AGAIN

At the request of a loyal reader, I am bringing the blog back to life. Thanks for the push! (you know who you are)

When I thought about it, I really have no excuse for not keeping it current. The last entry in my personal journal was in January. I haven't been writing online or on paper. Unacceptable. Time to get out of my head, and back into the real world of the internet. ;)

No need for a recap; if you know me, then you know the highlights. 

I will say this; I'm happy to be writing again. I'm happy to be happy. I'm happy that I'm regaining my physical, mental and emotional strength. Despite several challenges, life is good.

I am, once again, at a major transition in my life. Not really news. As they say - and I'm not really sure who "they" are, but I digress - the only constant in life is change. I've come to accept that. It's like the Borg; resistance is futile.

I'm still on the job hunt. I want to stay in the Raleigh-Durham area and I affirm that regularly. BUT if the right job is elsewhere, off I go. As I think about that, I have to ask myself "Is it really the right job, if it's somewhere else?" Hmmm...

It's June!!!!

Okay, now that June is here and my birthday is in 23 days - I'm getting more excited with each passing day! I think the freak out is over. Since my day is on a Sunday, I'll be celebrating on Saturday. Celebrating with a few friends and blending it with a Pure Romance party. It's going to be a night of celebrating womanhood and our fabulousness.

Soooo excited!!!

Birthdays

Two days ago my grandmother turned 92 years old. Ninety-two. Or as a certain Dancing With the Stars football player would say - Nueve Dos. That's old. And my mom recently turned 69. That's kinda old (damn near 70).

Why do I bring this up? Because in 52 days I will be turning 35 and am having mini-freakouts regularly.
Sorry to disappoint if you thought this was going to be an entry about my fabulous grandmother. This is MY blog, let her get her own :)

So back to me - 35 just sounds old and it's about to be the number that describes me. Doesn't sound as old as 92, but it still sounds old. As you can tell, I haven't quite embraced it yet. Accepted it? Absolutely - don't really have a choice. Embraced? Not so much. And as I reflect, I can honestly say it has nothing to do with my being single or without children. It's about OLD. I can get married or get pregnant, but I can't not get old. Bummer.

Oh well. I'm going to party anyway; because if you know me you know how much I LOVE my birthday. And hopefully, in the midst of the party, me and 35 will become friends. Or at least friendly acquaintances.

Friends

I have some pretty amazing people in my life. I'm totally lucky/blessed/happy to be able to think of some family members as friends and that I have friends who I consider family. Not everyone can say that; but I can. :)

A Strutured Life

I looked at the few posts before my grand comeback, and they was all about trying to create a structured life. As I think about last summer, my life was still full of chaos and it was a futile attempt on my part to create some order where little existed. Now that there is a bit more structure to my life, it's so much easier to put a system in place. And so far, it's working.

First, getting up at the same time every morning (7am) regardless of what's on my schedule for the day is the best decision I've made in a minute. I alter the wake-up time by no more than an hour in either direction - and it has to be for a really good reason.

I'm back to being a gym rat :) It's a scheduled part of my day. Having the goal of completing the Reggae Half Marathon in December is a big motivation. I even have 13.1 (the distance of the race) as the background on my laptop. It's a nice constant reminder of why I keep going. I also plan to bring sexy back in a big way - can't do that while trying to catch my breath at the top of a flight of stairs. Not to mention, the extra lbs are a reflection of a darker period in my life. Since I'm not there anymore, it's about time my outside match my inside.

And then there's the business. Damn it if it isn't hard work, but I love what I do so it's totally worth it. Speaking of the business, it's time to head to the office.

10 months later

Did you miss me? I didn't realize how long it's been since I last posted. So much has happened, but if you know me, there's no need for a recap. Anywhoo, at this moment, I'm standing at the computer in my classroom while my students take their test. Hope the sound of me typing isn't distracting. I absolutely love teaching adults - especially at community college. There's a seriousness from the students here that doesn't exist at a "regular" college/university. And since many of my students are my age or older, I can relate to them in a totally different way.

On a completely different note, I'm getting used to my new home. I guess that's a good thing, since I've been here now for a year & a month. Of all the places I've lived, SD is still at the top of the list, but the Triangle is indeed growing on me. Looks like I'll be here for a while. Any bets on how long I'll last?

A Structured Life - Day 24

Talk about a challenge! Not like I thought this was going to be easy. It's not the first time I've attempted to create a structured life for myself. And it won't be the last. I haven't given up on the month of June just yet...I mean, it's not over. Every day (okay, okay 6 out of 7), I think to myself how am I going to be structured today? My lack of planning is evident in my lack of productivity. There are quite a few things that have piled up over the past week or so. Not to mention I haven't gotten to a place of meditating consistently. BUT to my credit, I have been self monitoring my moods and engage in some serious self-care (be it with alone time, a walk or a bit of meditative music) to ward off "the crazies". And that is some serious progress.

So, I will continue to work on creating a structured life. It's an hour past 10:30. Too tired to seriously create a to-do list. I'll start again tomorrow.

Former Students

In the past 3 days I've heard from 2 former students. One sent me a friend request on Facebook. The other texted me a few minutes ago.

******
UPDATE - I ended up being contacted by 3 former students in the span of one week. Two on FB and one via TM. It was great learning what they were up to. During the six years I "molded the future", I taught hundreds of teenagers. Some of my very first students are turning 29 or 30 this year. Damn!

A Structured Life - Day 7

So I've had to make some changes to my schedule based on how life was not matching up with my plans. There were a couple of times this week when I got home AFTER my planned bed time. So, I'm going to push it back by 30 minutes and see what happens. There was one list-less day, and I could tell the difference. I was finally able to meditate this morning and, again, I could tell the difference.

Week 1 was full of lessons. Tomorrow starts week 2. And what a great week it will be! :)

A Structured Life - Day 4

In just 4 days I've seen progress. Unfortunately, last night I was unable to be in bed by 10, because I didn't get home from a meeting until 10pm. But other than that, I've been keeping to the schedule, checking things off of the list and making lists that are actually doable.
The only thing I'm still working on is the meditation piece. It's not something I've ever done with consistency, but have clear memories of how it's helped in the past. My reluctance (if I was going to "shrink" myself) has more to do with my transitioning spiritual/religious beliefs than not having the time. But that's another blog entry for another day.
So, in the name of optimism, I'll just say I'm happy with how things are going so far and I'm looking forward to a day full of clients tomorrow.

A Structured Life - Day 2

This morning I woke up at 6:15! A full 14 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. All because I was in bed by 10. It's a great feeling to wake up because your body has finished recharging and not as a result of a screaming alarm clock. Now I'm off to have a wonderful and productive day!

Creating structure in my life...Take 47

For the past few days, I've been following Susan Piver's Discipline Experiment. I thought to myself "oh, it's not just me. Great!" So after much contemplation and debating whether it was a sign for me to try again, I'm trying again.
My life is full of to-do lists that don't get completed, a sleep schedule that is crap (participating in a study for Glamour Mag didn't even help), a non-existent exercise regimen and a bipolar spiritual practice. Now, this is in no way an exercise in self-deprecation or the model of low self-esteem. I am where I am. It's not good, or bad - it just is.

So, with this being my birthday month (26 days until 34) I figured this would be a great time to start a personal project in creating more structure. Here's how it'll go. Every night I'll create my to-do list for the following day and review it to make sure it's actually doable - no sense in setting myself up for failure, right? I'll check items off as they get completed. I'll be as specific as possible with the items on my list, including a deadline or appointment time.

Items that will be on the list every day are:
Wake up no later than 6:30am
Be in bed no later than 10pm
Prayer/meditation for > 5 minutes

Exercise won't happen everyday, so one item on today's to-do list is to create a workout schedule that works with my current schedule.

I will reassess and readjust (if necessary) every Monday. Taking on a whole month seems too daunting, but weekly chunks is perfect for me. At the end of the month, I guess I'll prepare for July.

Now is not the time to think about July. Off to make my to-do list for June 1st!