Monday, September 22, 2008

To my readers...

I would love it if you comment (past or future entries). Let me know what you think about my thoughts. Do you agree/disagree? Have any words of wisdom, sarcasm, love, annoyance, or plain ol' unsolicited advice? Share them with me.

I double-dog dare you :)

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Maybe I'll join the Army and become a linguist. The age limit to enlist is 42...
Or maybe not.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The neighbors

I'm up listening to the police evict my new neighbors from the apartment downstairs. Greg and I moved in 2 weeks ago and from the first day, they were...uummmm...weird. They never spoke to either of us. It now makes sense that they were trying to not draw attention to themselves; which is hard to do since it's a 3 family house and the first floor apartment was vacant. We were the only 2 occupants of the building and was just weird to not speak...ever. And if you know me, it wasn't for lack of trying.

A few minutes ago, the lady of the house got put into a squad car and taken away. The super just finished changing the locks on their apartment door, and they gave us a new key to the main door. After the drama was all over I said to my brother, "You know, just when I think I've got it bad, there's some one else who's got it way worse."

Yes, I'm unemployed. Yes, the current state of the economy may make it impossible for me to get a small business loan. Yes, all of the folks in NYC looking for work make for stiff competition. BUT, I have a home. I haven't gone hungry one day yet. And although the creditors are calling and the budget is super-duper tight, I have what I need. And I'm not spending the night in jail because I got evicted. I can't even imagine.

It's unfortunate that it sometimes takes another person's misfortune to realize my life really isn't as bad as I think. My life has definitely seen better days. But it could be a whole helluva lot worse. Not a new life lesson, but one that clearly needed reteaching.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Where were you?

I'm sitting in my livingroom watching memorials for the 7th anniversary of 9/11. The one question the reporters keep asking is "do you remember where you were?"

It was a little before 6AM and I was sitting on the floor of my new apartment watching the morning news and eating a bowl of cereal (I had just moved to San Diego from Atlanta 3 weeks earlier). Matt Lauer comes on with the breaking news of a Cessnia (sp?) hitting one of the towers and live video of the smoke. All of a sudden the 2nd plane hits on live TV. My jaw drops. I say "Oh shit!" I stare at the television in disbelief.
I want to stay and watch, but I have to get to work and try to teach. On the drive I try to call my mom to see if we know anyone who works in the phone calls going through.
I get to work and I turn on the TV in my classroom to get the updates. School starts. I turn the TV off. We don't do math. It's hard for everyone to concentrate (teacher included), so we debrief instead. My kids are concerned about me and my family - they know I'm from New York. The faculty and administration are concerned too. I'm touched by the support. I turn on the TV between classes to get updates. The rest of the day is a blur of shock and disbelief.

What I do remember is a complete sense of uselessness. There was nothing I could do to help from the other side of the country.

As I sit here watching 2 young ladies read the names of those who died, I'm thinking of how I can best serve my city. Several ideas are running through my head. There are so many people in need and I have the time and talent to help. I love my city. Watching so many New Yorkers hurting hurts me. It motivates me. I've been too blessed to not pay it forward.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


Anyone who knows me knows I move around a lot. I'm always in a state of transition. Whether I'm moving across town (like this past weekend), across the country, changing jobs, going back to school, starting a business, or changing my hair color, there is always change. The majorirty of the time, the change is my doing. Even one of my tattoos is a symbol meaning "I'm changing/tansforming my life".

Yes, change is the only constant, but is there something to be said for "stability"? I don't regret any of the decisions and life changes I've made. The twenties should be about exploration and I explored. But now that I'm no longer in my 20's I want to settle down and create a home-base. Not because I "should", but because I'm tired. I don't think I've felt "settled" since I left for college at 18.

This is a radical mindshift for me. What's it like to stay put through life's challenges and not pack up & leave? What's it like to be bored and/or scared and not leave? What's it like to not allow the fear of going down the wrong road to keep you from picking one? (That's deep!)

Now for today's gratitude list:
1. My upcoming trip to Jamaica
2. My niece and nephews who helped me & my brother move.
3. The fan that's doing a wonderful job keeping me cool (no AC).

Friday, September 5, 2008

Gratitude List

Today I am grateful for:

1. My new apartment!!! Things always do work out.
2. My sister-in-law, Fran. She always makes me laugh - even when she's not "being funny" :)
3. NYC Transit. It always takes me where I need to go. It may take an hour & 40 minutes, but I WILL reach my destination.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

It's tomorrow!

I have this thing about waking up in the morning and not going to bed until tomorrow (meaning after midnight). For a while, I was doing really well and getting the rest I need. BUT the past few weeks, I've not been successful. I can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight or got 7 (or more) uninterrupted hours of sleep. And since it's almost 2:30AM, it's a wrap for tonight. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow. Or should I say tonight...