Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Structured Life - Day 24

Talk about a challenge! Not like I thought this was going to be easy. It's not the first time I've attempted to create a structured life for myself. And it won't be the last. I haven't given up on the month of June just yet...I mean, it's not over. Every day (okay, okay 6 out of 7), I think to myself how am I going to be structured today? My lack of planning is evident in my lack of productivity. There are quite a few things that have piled up over the past week or so. Not to mention I haven't gotten to a place of meditating consistently. BUT to my credit, I have been self monitoring my moods and engage in some serious self-care (be it with alone time, a walk or a bit of meditative music) to ward off "the crazies". And that is some serious progress.

So, I will continue to work on creating a structured life. It's an hour past 10:30. Too tired to seriously create a to-do list. I'll start again tomorrow.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Former Students

In the past 3 days I've heard from 2 former students. One sent me a friend request on Facebook. The other texted me a few minutes ago.

UPDATE - I ended up being contacted by 3 former students in the span of one week. Two on FB and one via TM. It was great learning what they were up to. During the six years I "molded the future", I taught hundreds of teenagers. Some of my very first students are turning 29 or 30 this year. Damn!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

A Structured Life - Day 7

So I've had to make some changes to my schedule based on how life was not matching up with my plans. There were a couple of times this week when I got home AFTER my planned bed time. So, I'm going to push it back by 30 minutes and see what happens. There was one list-less day, and I could tell the difference. I was finally able to meditate this morning and, again, I could tell the difference.

Week 1 was full of lessons. Tomorrow starts week 2. And what a great week it will be! :)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

A Structured Life - Day 4

In just 4 days I've seen progress. Unfortunately, last night I was unable to be in bed by 10, because I didn't get home from a meeting until 10pm. But other than that, I've been keeping to the schedule, checking things off of the list and making lists that are actually doable.
The only thing I'm still working on is the meditation piece. It's not something I've ever done with consistency, but have clear memories of how it's helped in the past. My reluctance (if I was going to "shrink" myself) has more to do with my transitioning spiritual/religious beliefs than not having the time. But that's another blog entry for another day.
So, in the name of optimism, I'll just say I'm happy with how things are going so far and I'm looking forward to a day full of clients tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A Structured Life - Day 2

This morning I woke up at 6:15! A full 14 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. All because I was in bed by 10. It's a great feeling to wake up because your body has finished recharging and not as a result of a screaming alarm clock. Now I'm off to have a wonderful and productive day!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Creating structure in my life...Take 47

For the past few days, I've been following Susan Piver's Discipline Experiment. I thought to myself "oh, it's not just me. Great!" So after much contemplation and debating whether it was a sign for me to try again, I'm trying again.
My life is full of to-do lists that don't get completed, a sleep schedule that is crap (participating in a study for Glamour Mag didn't even help), a non-existent exercise regimen and a bipolar spiritual practice. Now, this is in no way an exercise in self-deprecation or the model of low self-esteem. I am where I am. It's not good, or bad - it just is.

So, with this being my birthday month (26 days until 34) I figured this would be a great time to start a personal project in creating more structure. Here's how it'll go. Every night I'll create my to-do list for the following day and review it to make sure it's actually doable - no sense in setting myself up for failure, right? I'll check items off as they get completed. I'll be as specific as possible with the items on my list, including a deadline or appointment time.

Items that will be on the list every day are:
Wake up no later than 6:30am
Be in bed no later than 10pm
Prayer/meditation for > 5 minutes

Exercise won't happen everyday, so one item on today's to-do list is to create a workout schedule that works with my current schedule.

I will reassess and readjust (if necessary) every Monday. Taking on a whole month seems too daunting, but weekly chunks is perfect for me. At the end of the month, I guess I'll prepare for July.

Now is not the time to think about July. Off to make my to-do list for June 1st!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Saturday

It's a beautiful Saturday in Durham, and I think I'm going to go window shopping. There's an upcoming event that J insists I go to and I'm actually kinda looking forward to it. I haven't worn a formal dress in years. One more step into the land of the living, I guess. It's been a very good thing to be able to transition into a new environment with the help of fam.

Off to the mall I go.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

It's all so new

So here I am in a new city, with my new-to-me car waiting to start my new job trying to figure out how to create a new life for myself. Since I'm not sure if I'm going to end up in Fayetteville, Raleigh or West Bubble F**k, NC, I don't want to start the whole getting-to-know-you process with folks I may not have the opportunity to get to know.

In the meantime, I am having a ball with my new niece, her old parents and my new car.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I will always be a New Yorker...

After 1 year and 8 months of New York City living, I'm moving on. Next stop, Durham, NC. The home of my father. I'll be moving in 2 weeks and get more and more excited about it each day. I went for a visit last week and was amazed at how much I enjoyed the absence of noise. I got to meet my new niece & my new boss. I enjoyed the company of family and friends. And I hated to leave. But it's okay, because I'm going back really soon.

When I first moved to San Diego, I asked a friend how long she thought I would stay. Her guess was 4 years - I stayed 6. If anyone asked how long I planned on staying in New York, my answer was that I planned on growing old and dying here. I'm not so sure of that anymore. I won't even venture to guess how long I'll be in NC.

In my heart, I'll always be a New Yorker. Though not a stereotypical New Yorker, I'll always have a bit of an edge about me. I will ALWAYS love the Yankees, Times Square and Central Park. I'll miss dropping by my parents' house, showing visiting friends around town, and "hanging in" with my brother/roomie. Luckily, I have reasons to come back regularly. NYC has a special place in my heart. I will miss it, but am not all that sad to say good-bye.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What a difference 3 weeks makes...

I just read my entry from 3 weeks ago. I was all pumped up from the start of the new year, my treasure map and the hope of an marvelous 2009. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. Mostly vacillating between scared and excited with a bit of indifference in the middle.

Watching Ali Velshi declare today (officially yesterday) Bloody Monday didn't do much for my absolute resolve and unending determination to find a job (a good one). I may have to stop watching the news for a while. There's nothing new to see. Obama is in, Blagojevich talks too much, the Right disagrees with the Left and vice versa. It's like a soap opera. It won't take too long to catch up after not watching for a while.

I've got work to do. Deciding to stay or go, securing employment, filling out forms, etc., etc., etc. In the words of one of my favorite people I need to "keep the main thing the main thing, and keep the main thing first."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The big debate...

I'm thinking of moving...again. The never-ending cold days aren't helping any. I want to head south AND stay close to family. I want to stay in New York, yet I don't. I'm sooooo torn.

If I leave I'd need to
- to buy a car
- find a place to live (depending on my destination)

If I stay I'd need to
- get used to NYC commuting
- resign to being FAR from decent nature
- resign to NYC winter

Clearly, I don't have a compelling argument on either side. Still debating.

Monday, January 12, 2009

My next tattoo

When I got my second tattoo, I told myself I was done. But now...I feel the need to mark this stage in my life...literally. Nothing describes me better (at this moment) than a phoenix. Maybe a late Christmas present to myself with my second paycheck.

Next step. Land a job.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

With the new year I decided to take the lessons from 2008 and use them to be unbelievably successful in 2009. It was a rough year. For most of it I was unemployed and depressed. Not sad. Depressed (I'm a therapist, I know the difference). I stayed in the house A LOT and reached my highest weight ever. Not pretty.

But that was then!! Now, I've decided to not let my demons win. My focus is on making me better. Then, maybe I can focus on saving the rest of the world. :)

I dug out a prosperity treasure map that I got when I attended Hillside Chapel & Truth Center in Atlanta (yes, I held on to it for over 7 years and it crossed the country twice). I never filled it out. Mostly out of fear and my inability to believe I deserve all the wonderful things I wanted in life. Now the fear is gone. I know what I want. I know I deserve it. And I know I can make it happen.

Here's to a marvelous 2009!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Personality Quiz

I'm not quite sure what to do with this info, other than acknowledge that it seems to describe me pretty well.

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Self-Knowing Spiritual Reinventer